Leather thong? No way!

There have been some hilarious moments in my sexual sojourns. They may not have appeared so back then, but in retrospect they make me laugh.

I had always wanted to see if it was as easy as it appeared to get laid by just placing a classified ad in the papers. There were so many of those, the must be a hit ratio that guaranteed good ROI. This convinced me to try my luck. I got a new cell phone number and set about placing an ad.

I did so with Nation and Standard. Of the two, Nation is busier. I was on the line almost 45 minutes before I got served. Yet at Standard I was the only one. Standard gave me 3 extra days above the two weeks I paid for while Nation did not.

In both instances, I did feel self concious. What sort of person just walks in and puts an ad offering erotic massage services for women? I was hoping in both cases that a man would serve me. With my luck, I got women both times. But neither batted an eyelid. I guess they were used to this by now. I got the ad written up, paid for it and left.

The following day I bought both papers and promptly checked the classifieds. Both of them had my ad. Now all I needed to do was wait. I didn’t have to do so long.

I got interesting callers. One was from a woman who said she was 43 and married and an executive at a downtown company. She wanted an athletic young man to satiate her. She did not mince her words. Some women called wanting to know if I was a woman. They wanted to experience being with another woman sexually. I also got calls from men who wanted to know if I got down and dirty with men. Those ones I shut down real quick by stating the service was just for women. Shudder!

The main subject of this post is about this Indian man who wanted to know if I catered to couples. He said that he and his wife wanted a massage.nothing strange about this. I said that I could do so, but any extras would just be for the woman. This he din’t have a problem with. He then asked if I shaved. I told him I did. He asked that again, sensing I might have misunderstood him. He had wanted to know if I would be willing to shave his wife’s pussy. I told him I had never done that, and knowing how delicate and sensitive a woman’s nether lips are, I wouldn’t want to do that. Especially for a sranger! He insisted that whatever shaving would happen, it would be controlled. I told him I would have to see.

After these questions it seemed as though I had passed the phone interview, since he requested a face to face. He wanted us to talk things through first before I could meet him and hist wife together. On the day agreed upon we met at a restaurant in Industrial area during off peak hours. This ensured we had no one near us that could eavesdrop.

He introduced himself as an executive at some company. Hmm, interesting trend here. Yet another Nairobi executive involved in this. Did that life of much work make them need this kind of release? Just a bunch of freaks!

As we talked, he told me their expectations. The plan was for us to meet at a hotel. He would pay for the room. I would join him and his wife in the room where we would first chit chat to get comfortable with each other. I would then give them both a massage. Him just back, but her full body. We would then take a break for snacks. After this the shaving. She would then clean up and I would go down on her. (he had asked if I was okay with cunnilingus, which I am more than happy to give). Things would then take their natural course. So far so good. I liked this since it meant (a) fucking an Indian woman and (b) fucking another man’s wife as he watched. Quite the turn-on.

This is when things started going south. The guy asked me what I was working with. Excuse me please? And he repeated the question. I answered him wondering what that had to do with anything. He then asked if I role played. Eh, that whole Catholic Scool Teache and me the naughty student isn’t my cup of tea. I didn’t say that though. Instead I told him I could do it. I figured I could endure this for a chance to be with an Indian woman.

The next question blew me away. He asked if I could wear special attire that would emphasise my manhood. His words, not mine. The special attire he had in mind was a leather thong that would raise my balls and dick, kinda like the wonder-bra for women. He also wanted me towear a leather strap top. Picture the Ramb in that! Hideous! I was so tempted to get up and leave at that point. Inside I was a seething mass of a raging turmoil of battering waves! But on the outside I was the picture of perfect serenity.

With my facade in place, I smiled and said that would be no problem. But on the inside I was like ain’t no fucking way I was going to do all this just so I could fuck an Indian woman. I would have to pass on this opportunity and hope for another one with less stringent conditions.

We finalised on some details, him still thinking I was on board, but with me long gone from there. I then walked to my car, started it and burnt rubber getting out of there. I wanted to put as many kilometres as I could between me and the leather thong fetish Indian. I also switched off the phone I’d gotten for this manenos. Going mteja would be adequate protection!

this is the craziest ish I came across during my time of experimenting. There were some positives. Including one where I got down with a woman as her husband watched. That was some good times! But that is a story for another day.